


the fear was real

by TheEntireFangirl



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02 Le Marchand de Sable | Sandboy, F/M, Lukanette, i don't SHIP lukanette but i DO take any chance possible to get some good angst, no beta we die like emilie, no characters actually die but there is the description of death, tw drowning, tw grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29682642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEntireFangirl/pseuds/TheEntireFangirl
Summary: After Sandboy attacks Paris, Luka just needs to talk to someone — and Marinette can't say no to listening when she knows that she was the one who caused this all.
Relationships: Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	the fear was real

After the battle, Marinette fell into her bed, the world chipping away as a result of her weariness. Before she could slip out of life, though, her phone began to ring.

Without looking at the screen, she answered.

“Hey, Marinette,” a voice said. Luka’s. She sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Hi,” she said. She recalled the night, and the akuma, Sandboy, the fears—

She was awake.

“Are you okay?” she asked when he didn’t say anything else.

“I— Yes. I don’t think I’m getting to sleep anytime soon, though.”

The guilt set in. This was her fault, for letting Tikki go, wasn’t it? If Luka—or anyone, for that matter—got hit by Sandboy, then she was to blame.

“Do you... want to talk about it?” she asked.

“I— I don’t know. Just hearing your voice is enough to make it better."

Marinette put her face in her hands, letting the phone fall to the side. If he knew the truth, he’d hate her. He’d blame her. He’d be right.

She heard his voice from the phone and picked it back up. “Sorry, what?” she asked.

“It was stupid. Nevermind, you should go back to bed.”

“No, I want to know.”

There was a pause. Tikki landed on her shoulder and Marinette looked to her while she waited.

“I asked if maybe I could come to your place. But it was dumb, and I know your parents probably won’t let you, and—”

“No,” she said. “A lot has happened tonight. I’m sure they’ll make an exception.”

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll be over in a bit, then.”

He hung up the phone and Marinette dropped it down on the bed.

“What did I just do,” she asked, no inflection in her tone.

“Go on, Marinette, get ready before he comes over,” Tikki urged, dragging her by her pigtail. Marinette stood up, going down her ladder and looking around the room.

She didn’t have much to do—she’d forgotten to take her hair down in her drowsiness; she didn’t plan on getting more dressed than she already was; what else could she do?

Leaving Tikki in her room, she left to the living room to pace while she waited for Luka. After only a few minutes, she heard a knock on the door and opened it up to him.

He sheepishly had his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants and he stared at the floor as he walked in.

“Why don’t we go to the living room?” Marinette asked in her pursuit to fill the silence.

“Of course,” he said. They walked up together, and Marinette looked at Luka in a state she’d never seen before—his bangs, normally falling in his face, in his eyes, were pushed back, his hair messy and unkempt, even a little oily.

 _He must shower in the morning_ , she thought.

They stepped into the living room, taking a seat on the couch next to each other. Marinette sat outward, but Luka faced her, leaning his ear toward the wall.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she lied. _Guilty_ , she thought.

“Did you not get caught by the akuma?”

“I did.” Maybe she should have said differently—maybe she should have lied.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“I—Yes.” _No_. “I was powerless to help anyone.” Maybe she should have told him about Marinette’s fear, not Ladybug’s, but she knew that the fear of Adrien’s rejection was superficial, the fear of someone who was removed from her greatest responsibilities. Besides, how could she tell Luka about it? “I—I couldn’t leave my room to get to my parents. I knew they were in danger but I couldn’t help.”

It was close enough to the truth, anyway. The safest thing she could tell him.

“Do you know what happened to your parents?” he asked.

“No. Not yet.”

She should have checked on them. Why didn’t she?

“What happened to you?” she asked.

“I—I got caught up in three fears.”

“Your mom’s and Juleka’s?”

He nodded slowly without making eye contact.

“What happened?” she asked, her voice hardly above a whisper.

“I guess—my mom’s fear was of losing the boat, so the first thing I woke up to was the boat sinking. Which is fine, I guess. It would be terrible but the boat’s already okay since Ladybug set it right and we’re all good swimmers so no harm, no foul right?”

Marinette stayed silent, thinking of how terrible that was for him—to wake up and believe your home is being destroyed.

“Juleka’s fear was of being invisible, though. So my mom and I got to the shore and we couldn’t find her and we panicked and she was right next to us but we couldn’t see her and—”

Marinette turned her body to him, mirroring his pose, a semi-fetal position, leaning all of their weight on the back of the couch, legs curled into their chests. She put a hand on his knee.

“You don’t have to,” she told him, and he met her eyes for the first time that night, tears blurring the blue irises.

“I was afraid of losing them, Mari,” he told her. “I dove into the water to look for her and I saw her and it wasn’t her but she was at the bottom of the water, her body, and I thought she was gone, then I saw my mom sinking beside me and she wasn’t real either but—I saw them die, Mari. The fear was real.”

Her mouth gaped. She knew he was fiercely protective of the people he loved, but she never knew just how far that went—just how far he’d go. She never knew how much he was afraid of losing.

He looked back down, a sob breaking from his lips.

“I didn’t know it wasn’t real. It was so realistic—everything _felt_ real.”

She had no words of comfort for him—nothing to tell him that it’d be okay. It would be, of course, but that wasn’t what he was upset about, was it? He didn’t believe it was real. He didn’t need assurance that it wasn’t.

If she could tell him that she was Ladybug, maybe she could tell him that she’d never let it happen, but she couldn’t, and even if she could, she wasn’t so sure. She could mess up. She could be powerless at just the wrong moment.

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked.

Luka sniffed and wiped his eye, looking up at her. “I’m hurt over what I saw. But I’ll be fine by the time the sun’s up.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and Luka reached out his hand to wipe them away for her. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“You didn’t deserve this,” she said, and she thought of her conversation with Tikki earlier tonight. She was the reason why Sandboy was able to get so far across Paris—her and no one else.

“You don’t either,” he said. “I should go.”

“No,” she said. Just then, a door opened from down the hall, and Marinette’s dad came out of his bedroom, clad in his baker’s uniform—his apron already tied around his waist. When he saw Marinette and Luka, he stopped in his tracks.

“Papa,” Marinette said. “I—Luka got hit by the akuma earlier tonight. We—We both needed to talk about it.”

His face softened—first very angry, it turned to a very somber sort of sorry. “Of course,” he said. “I have to start my day in the bakery, but you two can stay up here.”

Without another word, he left for the bakery.

“What’s your dad doing up?” Luka asked.

“He has to start baking early to meet the morning rush,” she explained. It was four AM, which was a bit late for him on some days.

They stayed quiet for a long while. Nothing to say, nothing to do.

“You know that you’re not powerless, Marinette?” Luka asked. “You’re incredible, and no matter what comes your way you’ll manage it. Never seen anyone bounce back quite like you do.”

Her face turned red, but she couldn’t meet his eyes or thank him for the compliment. _You don’t know the truth_ , she thought. _You don’t know_.

The air lingered in place around them. Sterile and cold and unkind.

“I’ve never seen you in your pajamas,” she said, to break the silence.

He chuckled. “Normally I don’t wear them. The detail I left out about the boat sinking is that I was doing everything in my boxers.”

She smiled slightly, but cast the image out of her mind. Better not to encourage her own thoughts.

“Do you ever think it would be better to feel no love at all than to feel the pain that goes along with loss?” Luka asked.

She thought back to Nightmare Adrien, to the hurt she’d felt in that moment. She thought back to the way Chat was so afraid of her hating him, of her lying to him. She thought back to all of the pain that came from caring so much for the people of Paris, all of the pain that came from caring for her family, for her friends, for strangers and villains and the faceless residents of places she didn’t even know about.

“I do,” she answered.

“I’d never take the deal. Not that it exists. But it’s tempting on nights like tonight, y’know?”

“I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said in the tags, I don't ship Lukanette. However, the idea of Luka seeking out comfort in Marinette who feels guilty for him being hurt... *chef's kiss.*


End file.
